What is the Nervous System?
I find myself talking a lot to people in therapy about their nervous system and how to regulate it. Partially, this is just good trauma treatment. Trauma is not just the events that happen, but what happens in our nervous system and how that stays stuck. Whether or not you have trauma though, it is helpful to understand the nervous system so that you know how to help yourself feel okay. We can’t always think our way out of an emotional response, but we can find tools that help change our body’s response and think our way through things. It all sounds good, but many people don’t know what their nervous system is. What does that even mean?
What I’m referring to is the autonomic, think automatic, nervous system. We also have a central nervous system which is our brain and spinal cord. The autonomic nervous system, though, is the nerves that carry information using neurons from our body to our brain and our brain to our body. Like, our body’s internet system and the nerves are the ethernet cables. The nervous system controls our breathing, heart rate, digestion, blood pressure, and important in therapy, our sense of safety and connection. The nervous system is always assessing for cues of safety or danger.
The ANS or autonomic nervous system has two parts with three functions. We’re mostly all familiar with the fight or flight response which is our sympathetic nervous system. It is the light switch that turns things on. This is really important if you’re in the woods and you see a bear. Your body has to get in action mode to keep you safe. Your nervous system is telling you to fight or run. If you really see a bear, make yourself big, make noise, and back away slowly. Your body might be ready to run, but don’t run. Look, I’m a trauma therapist, not a bear expert, so take it all with a grain of salt.
Anyway, the other part of our nervous system is our parasympathetic nervous system which does two things. One is to keep us safe by immobilizing us or what people think of as the freeze response or the light switch turning things off. Essentially, our body shuts down, is preparing to die, and this keeps us safe. This part of our nervous system tells us to slow down to survive or to numb out and shut down because death is imminent. In the case of Mr. Bear, maybe you can’t escape, so it is better to play dead. (Please do not take any advice from me on how to deal with bears. Just an example.) More often, people learn to shut down because they’ve been in situations where escape feels or is unavoidable, like childhood abuse.
The second function of our parasympathetic nervous system is to feel safe and register that we’re feeling safe. It can help us “rest and digest”, meaning we feel good in our body, we feel safe, we’re able to connect to other people, and we can let our guard down. It’s a good place to be. This is when we make decisions out of love, not fear. The bear is gone. You’re with your people. You’re safe. Your body feels okay. You can eat your picnic and laugh. This is what it means to feel regulated.
Being able to get back into this regulated state is what good therapy is all about. We use the term mental health or emotional health, yet therapists are really treating the nervous system. Good therapy should help you learn how to shift from feeling you’re in danger to feeling safe enough to rest and connect. In reality, we are not often in true life or death situations like with Mr. or Mrs. Bear. More often, our body and our nervous system is registering something as if we’re in danger, yet we can learn to pick up on the actual cues of safety.
The world could be going up in flames, but you have the power to feel regulated, safe, and connected internally. How neat is that! You have the power to recognize a nervous system response and learn how to shift it. First, it helps to understand what the nervous system is and what responses you’re having.
In summary, don’t take any advice from a trauma therapist on how to deal with bears in the woods. I’ve thankfully only seen a handful of them from far away. In all seriousness, learning how to regulate your nervous system is powerful and important. Your nervous system essentially means the brain body connection, the information traveling between your brain and body, and your body responding to cues of danger and safety.