Can AI Be My Therapist?
Can AI Replace a Licensed Therapist or Mental Health Professional?
Yes, in the same way that a wire monkey could be a surrogate mother for Harry Harlow’s monkeys. If you’re not familiar with Harry Harlow, he was an early researcher on attachment theory. He did experiments with monkeys having surrogate mothers made out of wood and wire which fed them. These monkeys technically had their needs met, but without an actual monkey caregiver, they failed to thrive, couldn’t socialize, and had severe emotional and behavioral problems.
So yes, you could use AI for therapy, but like the monkeys, you would miss out on the human aspect of therapy.
Why the Therapeutic Relationship Is Central to Effective Therapy
Research shows that 80% of the success of therapy depends on the therapeutic relationship. The modality and the techniques matter, but the relationship is the secret sauce to therapy working. Relationship is the core of therapy. A therapist can attune to you, pick up on body language, infer what you’re saying, reflect your emotions, empathize, and bond with you. In relationships, things people say, especially therapists, stick with us and we care what our therapists say or don’t say. Technique and modality does matter too. As far as I know, AI can not do effective EMDR, somatic therapy, IFS, or pick up on the nuances of where to go with these types of therapy.
What Happens Inside a Human Therapist–Client Relationship
In the container of the therapeutic relationship, you get feedback in real time. Sometimes things are messy, you worry you said the wrong thing, you might feel judged, you might feel withdrawn, and a number of other ways we feel in human relationships. Therapuetic relationships mirror our other human relationships and this is a great opportunity to work through the messiness of interacting with another person. Therapy with a human provides a safe space to practice vulnerability in relationships. As far as I can tell, AI can not provide that emotional depth or experience that translates into your outside relationships.
Limitations of AI Therapy and Mental Health Chatbots
There are a number of articles about people testing out the various AI systems like chatgpt and Claude. A theme in everything I’ve read is that AI is sycophantic. It relentlessly agrees with the person who is putting information in. AI will give you feedback that always paints you in a good light, gives you back your own thoughts without new perspective, and will go down whatever rabbit hole you want it to. AI doesn’t follow up with you, ask for updates, or hold you accountable to what you said you were going to do. It just follows whatever input you give it.
AI Therapy vs Human Therapy: Accountability, Perspective, and Care
A human therapist will ask how your homework went or how you’re doing this week after your dog passed. A therapist will pause you before you catastrophize or you’re off to the races, avoiding the thing you actually need to work on. A human will give you alternative perspectives, and a good therapist will help you explore if what you’re doing is working for you. The AI that people consult is a language learning model. It is not a human that can attune, empathize, or bond with you. It is more akin to a search engine than a human.
Why AI Therapy Feels Appealing but Falls Short for Long-Term Change
I get the appeal of AI. You don’t have to make an appointment. It is mostly free. You can chat with it any time of day. There is no risk of judgment. It will agree with you and all of your behavior. There is an absence of vulnerability. All this is true and there is little opportunity for actual growth and change. There is little opportunity for your interactions with AI translating into having better relationships, better moods, and knowing what to do when your thoughts and feelings are too much.
Using AI to Support Therapy Without Replacing a Human Therapist
So, yes, you could use AI for therapy, but it is unlikely you’ll get what you came for. A better question might be how can you use AI to enhance the real life therapy you do. That is a great conversation to have with your human therapist. AI is an amazing tool that has the potential to enhance the things we do in real life.